As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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