If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
