Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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