We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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