I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
