i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize