Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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