on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
