Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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