i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
