Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
