Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
