I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
