saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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