Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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