elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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