Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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