does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Randomize
