In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
