Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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