please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
