Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I look better un-naked...
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Randomize
