So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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