Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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