I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
