There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
