Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
