so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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