Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
