I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
