Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
