Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
