just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I think im going to throw up on grandma
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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