Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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