oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just want nice things and good sex
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
