i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
