The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Houston, we have a blender
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
