He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize