I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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