Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
