ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
