Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Randomize
