i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
