Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
