My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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