It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
