I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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