Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
