The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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