Im at strip club and am horny
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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