ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
