Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
