and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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