I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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