Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
