this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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