If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
