Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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