what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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