Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
