I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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